I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
