Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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