I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
