I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
