He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
