wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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