We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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