4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is wine microwaveable?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
