Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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