okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
