tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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