So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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