Can Purell be used as lube?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
