She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
