How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
