Jerry, you need to find god
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
