I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
