Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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