she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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