Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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