i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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