I accidentally had phone sex last night
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize