dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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