Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
