I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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