I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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