Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
wow bdsm is so cute
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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