Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
