and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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