So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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