Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
