omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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