if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
