After last night, I could never be a politician.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize