so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
