is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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