Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
