i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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