We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
