You're so nebulous sometimes
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
