well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Mom said you looked used
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize