is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
