sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
there's paper in my vomit.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
