he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
