'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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