i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
