Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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