i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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