Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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