at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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