just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
its liver damage thursday
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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