all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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