Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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