The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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