is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
