Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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